How Not to Get Laid

Who Is Stewart Fox?

Stewart Fox was not always a ladies man. He hit puberty at the age of 20. He started shaving at 21. The sex came later. Much later. One of the world’s first successful test tube babies, Stewart was born to a pair of celibate New England high school guidance counselors who were determined to keep sex out of their relationship until they felt they were both “emotionally ready.” It was from his parents that Stewart first learned how awkward and easily avoidable sex can be.

Stewart was a happy and promising child. In high school, he was a champion table tennis player, an accomplished flautist, and the runner up for valedictorian. Curiously though, none of these accomplishments helped him get any action. A shy teenager, Stewart would spend more time drawing pictures of beautiful girls than he would dating them.

With college came confidence, popularity, and suddenly, FINALLY . . . opportunities to score with the opposite sex! But for Stewart, every opportunity to score was also an opportunity not to score, and it was these latter opportunities he chose to capitalize on. Indeed, he maintained his unintentional virginity well beyond his college years, assembling a collection of uninspiring near misses, certain to not inspire anyone not in need of inspiration.

In his mid-twenties, while backpacking through Europe, Stewart’s cherry was accidentally and thankfully popped. The victim of a cruel prank, he was pushed from a bunk bed and fell – naked – out the second story window of a hostel, landing on top of a nubile young native who was sunbathing on the patio below. Due to the lack of clothing and force of impact, the judges ruled that intercourse had occurred, Stewart had stuck the landing, and the duo received high marks from everyone on the panel except the German judge.

Stewart was thrilled. Finally a man, he returned to America confident that the rest of his life from that point forward would be nothing but a series of daring sexual escapades.

. . . and he was right.

Well, not exactly. To date, Stewart Fox has visited 32 states in the U.S. in which he has not gotten laid successfully. He has not gotten laid in countries all across the world and in more languages than he can attempt to count. But he has learned from his mistakes! After many failed attempts at closing the deal, Stewart’s skills have been sharpened, and his luck with the ladies has dramatically improved. He has gone from grasshopper to sensei, and he owes all his success to trial and error – with an emphasis on error.

The inspiration for HowNotToGetLaid.Com came to Stewart after a conversation with a female friend (guys who have had trouble getting laid tend to have lots of female friends). She was telling him about the incompetent machinations of some luckless suitor of hers, and Stewart remarked: “Wow, that’s exactly how NOT to get laid.” From there, a website was born.

Stewart Fox currently resides in Los Angeles where he writes books and screenplays under a different name. No longer a player or a pauper, he is in a serious long term relationship and gets laid all the time, which has finally given him the courage to face his sexually frustrated demons and bring HowNotToGetLaid.Com to life. He hopes you enjoy the site.